A Livid Moment

I work as the overnight manager for a nonprofit domestic violence shelter. I do my job and do it damn well. I have implemented some really good changes/programs/etc and thought that I was a valued team member. I was even put in charge of a large chunk of our annual fundraiser/awareness program. I knew that my pay was going down due to losing some grant funding. That's normal in this sector and in this economy. I expected it. No big deal, other than tightening the purse strings. Boy, was I wrong.

I came in to work tonight. Payday. Noticed my paycheck envelope was a little fatter than usual. Odd, but sometimes our executive director passes along training/conference info that way. I opened the envelope to find a contract. A fucking contract that says I am no longer an employee but a contracted laborer. I no longer have access to benefits, insurance, workers comp, shelter "umbrella" coverage (accidents/etc), or anything else that employees should be entitled to with this organization. They also will no longer be taking taxes out of my pay. The unemployment? Sucks but I can deal. The workers comp/umbrella coverage? THAT'S freaking crazy as hell to me, seeing as how this is a potentially dangerous job. Hell, I was assaulted by a client in October. What if a client's abuser stormed the gate and started shooting up the place? What if something happened to me on the job? I would be screwed. As for the tax thing. Eh, I worked as an H&R Block tax preparer for years so that's no problem. The pay though? These people must be out of their freakin' minds. My pay sucked to begin with but now they are wanting to pay me $45 per night for 9 nights per biweekly pay period...DESPITE the fact that they still want me to work my normal schedule of 11 hours per night, 5 nights per week. Are they insane? Needless to say, I am pissed. I am taking the contract to the Employment Security Commission office in the morning to see if they can shed any light on things for me. I am also applying for other jobs. Since I got this damn contract tonight I have already applied to be the store manager of Office Depot, the assistant store manager for Lowe's, substance abuse counselor at the corrections facility, and even my old job as an optometric technician for the local eye dr. I'm just pissed. Well, livid is a better word. I'm also hurt. There aren't many of us working here, and we've always been like a family, a team. We all do our jobs and do them well. My position and the weekend 48 hour shift position are the only ones who have been contracted, because apparently it is a new "trend" among the local nonprofit shelters. Day shift and swing shift will still be sitting here getting paid the adequate wage for the adequate hours, with all the perks. I just feel fucking betrayed. It sucks. I also just don't get it. Our main focus here is teaching empowerment to women/clients/victims/survivors. How the hell am I supposed to teach empowerment when I am being tossed around in my own personal/professional environment? How can I teach empowerment when I am not able to empower myself? (In this situation, anyway.) I have bad days. Every job does. Especially this one because of the high stress and emotional factor. Even with that, I love my job and what I do. It's why I went back to school. I'm studying both human services and substance abuse counseling. I did that because of this job. Because I wanted to do MORE for my clients. I wanted more knowledge and more resources to help my clients succeed and survive. I guess I will find another venue to do what it feels as though I was intended to do, because I will not stay here. Even if they were to rip that contract up and offer me a big fat raise, the damage is done. I will find another job. (The sooner the better, preferably.)